“Mommy, why does your face turn black when you wash it?”
Years ago my very young daughter’s question puzzled me. She was bewildered. From her perspective, I start with a clean face, add my cleanser, my face turns black, and then I have a clean face again. I had to give some concentrated thought to her question before I came up with a reasonable answer.
Obviously, before I wash my face in the evening, I have on whatever make-up I wear each day. When I add my face cleanser to wash my face, my dark mascara smears all over my face giving me a “blackened” look as I scrub. When I rinse off the cleanser, my face regains its fresh, clean appearance. Process complete.
Interestingly, as I wash, my eyes are always closed. I never see the “blackened” state. I only see my “make-up face” and then the results of my clean face after I rinse. And still, she saw my process often. She knew my face cleanser was a white cream and noticed when I applied it everything on my face turned dark. Seeing from her perspective, I completely understand her conundrum.
As we move my daughter’s innocent question into our consciousness, upgrade, and transformation realm, we can draw several wise and insightful parallels. These may seem simple, and within a facilitation/coaching appointment, they can be profound discoveries.
- We can present different “faces” to our world to cover many downscale feelings under the premise of protection. (fear, shame, blame, hurt, rejection, judgment, etc.) Controlling behavior can cover feelings of insecurity. People pleasing can cover co-dependence. Anger can cover feelings of rejection. Building walls can cover feelings of inadequacy.
- Discovering what is hidden requires purposeful action. Actively seeking coaching and addressing our issues offers us opportunities to heal from within.
- We only see what is real with our eyes open. We can close our eyes and our ears to what we know is true deep down. Until we realize (see with our real eyes) that we have many opportunities for upgrades, we can stay blind to our issues.
- Others may see what we “close our eyes” to. Our greatest weakness shall be our greatest strength. Typically, when a person chooses to be seen in a particular way, others already see them exactly as they desire to be seen. Usually, the person making the choice is the last to see clearly!
- Our process may get messy and look icky to others. When we are in the midst of transformation, we can get lost in the process. Coaching offers direction and continued alignment with our outcome as we move through the mess. Consider a caterpillar’s chrysalis. It’s dark, gooey, and seems like the end UNTIL he emerges brand new!
- Quitting before the process is complete is never ideal. Continuing our path of healing until we uncover the root cause is essential to full restoration. How sad it is to imagine a caterpillar who never emerges from its chrysalis. The process produces the desired outcome
- We see our true upgrade after the process is complete. In most facilitation sessions, my client’s automatic deep breath signals a true upgrade.
How does this work in coaching?
- Our premise of protection keeps us from aligning in our Great, Glorious Light.
- Make a choice to move forward in new ways
- See with your real eyes.
- Remember your true strength.
- Sit in the mess and be brand new.
- Trust the process.
- Willingness to experience our true outcome always brings transformation.
When you are ready, I am here. The action takes courage. Be brave, dear one.
Greatness awaits.
💜
~ Cynthia
Personal and Professional Empowerment Coach
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